My Favorite Communication Worksheets

It takes two to communicate!

Are you going in circles with your partner, trying to figure out how to communicate without either of you ending up with hurt feelings or feeling misunderstood? There are some very straightforward communication exercises that can help you listen and be heard better.

The first thing to do is to think about communicating to understand rather than to speak your point. When we are in a cycle of miscommunication and missed connection, we often fall into communication that is focused on defending our perspective rather than listening to the other. Just noticing this and making an effort to listen differently can make a difference. See this active listening handout.

The second key point is using “I messages” rather than “you messages.” See this handout.

Another helpful technique is to be able to notice your own triggers, to avoid reacting in fight or flight. This is an informative read.

Have you read about Negative Sentiment Override? It explains how we often get stuck in negative cycles.

Slow down the communication with this exercise by Alexandra Solomon. Learn why slowing down communication is an effective strategy.

Use repairs to deflate the conflict!

Transform criticism into requests.

And when you can’t get calm try taking a time out. Here is Terry Real’s 10 Commandments regarding Time Out’s.

I am including here a questionnaire about what you want from your relationship. Many couples who come to see me come with a list of negatives they are unhappy about but are not focused on the positive needs or desires.

This exercise is for working through and processing a conflict after the fact.

If you are interested in understanding relationship patterns: this may help.

I also recommend reading: Interrupting the negative cycle of couple’s conflict and 5 Steps to break negative relationship patterns.

Do you need some hints about how to build your healthy relationship?

And I have included this handout from the Indigo Project about Conscious Communication.

Here is the Intimacy Inventory from Esther Perel (one of the brightest and most interesting voices in the conversation about couplehood, intimacy, communication, and sex).

Are you wondering if your relationship is worth saving? Here are some prompts to help you think and feel through it.

Check out these other relationship resources:

Enjoy!

For more tools visit my blog “My Favorite Gottman Method Relationship Guides” and “Conflict and Your Nervous System” to help you connect with your partner.

Are you looking for help with your relationship? Do you feel that a relationship coach could help you working on your couples skills? Is communication an issue? Have you ever considered couples therapy or counseling? As a psychotherapist and relationship coach, I am uniquely positioned to help you through these moments of disconnect and conflict.

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Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!