Muddy Emotions
Muddy emotions are feelings that come up that tend to overwhelm and confuse us.
Here are some of the qualities of muddy emotions:
They tend to be intense. We tend to have difficulty identifying them specifically or giving them a clear label – we just feel distressed or upset.
We often feel confused or overwhelmed in the presence of a muddy emotion.
Muddy emotions are usually pretty familiar – they’re like, “Oh, yes – been here before.”
Often we have a strong judgmental or critical reaction to muddy emotions: “Oh, I shouldn’t be feeling that. I hate that. That’s stupid. That’s irrelevant.”
Muddy emotions tend to persist for a long time; they don’t metabolize or get processed as easily as pure emotions do.
It feels like muddy emotions have us rather than we’re having them. Rather than a muddy emotion “passing through me, I’m kind of possessed by it” – we often feel tangled up in whatever our response is to the muddy emotion.
What causes muddy emotions?
Often they come as a result of some kind of incompletely processed trauma.
Often they involve reactions to our reactions – in other words, they are emotions that are coming up that we’re conflicted about and, in some way, we're unable to acknowledge and accept.
Are there any clear emotions bundled up inside of the muddy emotion?”
When you feel a lot/are distressed or upset and have unwanted “emotional reactions:”
1) Stop. Start to feel: unpack/unravel the different emotions involved.
2) Give yourself the space to feel. Especially sadness. Especially the grieving. Especially the contradictions that you don’t want to have.
3) Why isn’t there space to feel sad? What does sadness make you think of? What do you associate sadness with? Why do things have to be black or white? What happens if you feel contradictions?
(Substitute sadness with any emotion that was not allowed in your family or you felt you didn’t have a right to express or experience).
4) Think about what happened in your family growing up? And how it may connect.
Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?
My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change.
*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.
*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.
*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.
Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.
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