The Bruno Challenge
Bruno always happy to be near us!
Photo by: Kass Mencher
One day as my dog, Bruno, greeted me at the door, I imaged my husband greeting me the same way. I imagined him feeling such a strong longing to see me.
The next day when my husband arrived home, I did my best impression of Bruno. I shook my behind from side to side, wagging my imagined tail. I groped my husband, with a wide grin, telling him how happy I was that he was home while circling him. Niels looked confused and (to be honest) overwhelmed. I guess my behavior was abnormal. And without missing a beat said “Are you Bruno?”
And from there I imagined “The Bruno Challege:” I imagined couples reconnecting, families giving heartfelt love and that daily reunions would become special again.
Ever notice how good you feel when you get home and your dog is just so excited to see you? But it’s not just that the dog is excited to see you, it is the unabashed expression that makes us feel so good. Human beings often are not taught how to or to be comfortable with expressing in such an opened way.
Dogs can be a little over the top… jumping up, whimpering, tail and backside shaking. But you definitely know how they feel about you. Just the sound of your footsteps causes excitement. Your dog is waiting on the other side of the front door… anticipating your arrival.
It feels so good to receive that welcome. What if we treated our partners the way our dogs treat us? What if we were as responsive and excited by each word, action or bid for attention? Can you imagine how much happier our relationships would be?
Imagine that when you get home in the evening your partner would be running to the door with excitement shaking their whole body. Exclaiming “Oh, you’re home! You’re home! I’m so excited to see you!” Can you imagine how loved you would feel?
And our dogs are so motivated to lavish that attention on us. We are important. They have been waiting all day for us, well at least they make us feel that.
And even if we weren’t totally affectionate with them in the morning, they don’t hold it against us. (There is no memory of past insults or hurts). There is just NOW!
And we may actually feel all those things about our loved ones but we don’t express them readily. We have a hard time showing and putting forward all that love that we have. Our animals do it UN-self-consciously. It isn’t an effort. It isn’t work. It is normal.
Imagine making reunions special… a little more effort, affection and expression regardless of how you left each other in the morning. That is the Bruno Challenge.
Bruno awaiting my return…
Are you looking for help with your relationship? Do you feel that a relationship coach could help you working on your couples skills? Is communication an issue? Have you ever considered couples therapy or counseling? As a relationship coach and psychotherapist, I am uniquely positioned to help you through these moments of disconnect and conflict.
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