My Favorite Strategies to Work with Anxiety

We all experience anxiety. It's a universal part of being human. Instead of viewing anxiety as a problem to be solved, consider it an energetic experience that we haven't yet learned to live with or de-escalate.

All forms of anxiety are our mind and body spinning in an attempt to control or understand the uncontrollable.

I have had many sleepless nights and anxious moments, going in circles with myself, trying to quiet my mind and find peace. That quieting rarely works. Repressing or averting anxiety doesn’t function because we put energy into a negative, and then our body must work harder to be listened to or taken seriously. Our anxiety is our mind’s way of trying to protect us from some future fear. It is a protective feeling, but often the protection is over-vigilant, making us focus on something beyond our control or causing us to lose touch with the present moment.

The Purpose of Anxiety:

Realizing the purpose of our anxiety is very helpful. What is our anxiety trying to express? What is its purpose? (Normally to warn us or keep us safe in some way). By realizing the utility of fear and caution, and focusing our energy productively, we can transform our relationship with anxiety and use it as a tool for personal growth and self-awareness.

Prompts to Address Anxiety:

Exploring your worries and anxieties through questions can provide clarity and direction. Here are some good questions to consider:

- What are you anxious or worried will happen?

- Is there anything you are specifically worried about happening?

- What is the worst that could happen, or what is your worst-case scenario?

- What do you imagine happening?

Creating a worry list can help because you can problem-solve specific issues rather than just having a big ball of bad feelings that creates a lot of anxiety. It’s one more way to hit the pause button on your automatic negative path.

The Body/Feeling The Now:

Anxiety releases when we can FEEL THE NOW.

Why is that? Because anxiety is the product of being in the imagined future.

When I subconsciously or consciously think about something in the future that overwhelms me, two things happen:

1. I leave the sensations of the present moment.

2. I FEEL the thing I'm thinking of as if it's happening now.

Feeling thoughts means my biology changes. My physical body transforms into a state of fear, stress, constriction, and activation.

Because so many stressful thoughts are unconscious we only notice the unpleasant sensations and believe something must be wrong now.

This first practice will give you some guidance on how to be with your anxiety AND your current reality simultaneously.

1. Anxiety is how expected threat shows up in our bodies. We first want to have this awareness so we know what it is we're trying to connect with inside of us.

2. Start by noticing how anxiety shows itself to you. Where do you feel it? What does it feel like?

3. Now place your hand over this place. Not to suppress it or soothe it, but to simply connect with it. You may also use your breath or your awareness. Just touch into it with a "Hello, I see you."

4. How does it respond to you? You may notice more anxiety, less, or even numbness coming in. There are no correct responses. Just notice how it responds.

5. Now, let's say this simple sentence to the anxiety inside of you: "You must be thinking of something overwhelming." And again - just notice.

6. How does it respond to this sentence? Does it show you an image? Do you hear the thought? Does it settle or grow or numb out? There is nothing for you to do here but notice.

7. Now, look around the space you're in and find one thing that you like. Feel where you like it in your body. What sensations show you that you like it?

8. Allow the anxiety to feel this. Let the part of your body with stress feel the part with ease or joy. Breathe between the two places and see what happens.

9. This is helping you tell the difference between now and a past/future overwhelm.

10. Through this practice, your sensations will inform you whether you're responding to something right now or if it's something from another time.

Problem-Solving Steps:

1. Identify the problem and set realistic goals.

-Ask yourself what you hope will be the consequences of your current behavior.

2. Generate new solutions.

-Try to think of at least three. Don’t evaluate them until you have completed your list.

3. Evaluate the different solutions and decide which one to try.

-Consider both the short-term and long-term benefits and drawbacks.

4. Try one of the solutions.

-Evaluate the consequences and decide whether the problem is solved or if you need to continue problem-solving.

Mindfulness Exercise for Anxiety:

The path back to center and grounding is often simpler than we might think: it lies in our breath.

Learning to breathe into the experience can help us regain a sense of safety within our own bodies. Anxiety isn't just a challenge; it's often an invitation to practice the self-soothing techniques we've needed but weren't aware of. These practices can guide us toward being our most balanced selves.

A practical way to manage anxiety is through mindfulness exercises. Here's a simple one you can try:

1. Find a quiet space and sit comfortably with your back straight.

2. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Inhale through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale through your mouth.

3. Focus on your breath. Notice the sensation of air entering and leaving your body. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to your breath.

4. Acknowledge your feelings. Allow yourself to feel your anxiety without judgment. Recognize it as a part of your current experience.

5. Return to your breath. Use your breath as an anchor to stay present.

For more strategies to work with your anxiety, see: The Inner Critic, Your Blueprint for Fear, How to Get Out of The Aversion Cycle, Listening to Emotions, Working with Worry, and Processing Feelings We Don’t Want to Have.

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*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

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