Listening to Emotions

In the Western world, we have been taught that suppressing difficult or negative emotions (think emotions we find troubling like anger, anxiety, fear, or shame) is an effective and fundamental strategy for getting along in life. 

But why would we want to do that?  How we deal with our inner emotional world influences how we live, love, and lead. When our emotions are blocked, we are less invested in our relationships and our lives. It is impossible to live fully while expending so much energy blocking our feelings.

Why are emotions important?

Emotions are our 'inner radar' system and essential to our survival. They are designed to rapidly alert us to situations that may threaten our survival/happiness.

Emotions are designed to help us thrive and survive. They prepare and guide us to take action toward meeting our needs.  We need to be emotionally agile, not rigid. 

When are emotions unhelpful?

Emotions become destructive, (impacting our well-being) when we:

• cling to them – dredging up old business 

• expend energy trying to shut them down or push them away

• operate on autopilot, without true awareness or volition;  confusing our present perceptions with past experiences.

To navigate the complex landscape of life, we need tools and techniques to enable us to:

• recognize our thinking traps, (how we create our own suffering)

• learn how to 'turn towards' emotions, and anchor them in the body (feel the feelings and understand their message in a visceral way)

• engage with difficult emotions, naming or labeling them (finding words for feelings has the potential to deactivate the stress response and calm the brain)

• respond to ourselves with compassion or loving-kindness.

We need presence, not perfection to navigate life with a greater sense of clarity, flexibility meaning, and purpose. 

Helpful Facts About “Negative” Feelings

Fear

'The emotion of fear is a withdrawal emotion. It usually gets us to back away from the world for self-protection. Fear provides good information that one's world does not feel safe. The longing behind fear is for a safe haven.

In listening to fear, it is important to realize that fear helps us stay safe.

An important question regarding fear is, "What do you need to feel safer?" In other words, what is the person's positive need here?

Sadness

The emotion of sadness (disappointment) usually has adaptive value in telling us that we have lost something we really miss. Questions should be addressed that lead to understanding what is lost or missing.

Anger

The emotion of anger often results from a sense of injustice. There is a goal that is being thwarted in some way. There is a need to motivate and fight for something of value. There is very important information to be found in anger. What's the goal that is being blocked? What is blocking it?

Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a therapist or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?

 My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change. 

*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

__

Learn more about my approach to therapy, life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!