Working with Worry

Photo by Eric Mencher

Have you ever thought that worry or anxiety actually could serve a purpose? That worry is here to alert you of something much as a smoke detector does. Anxiety is for preparedness…

That as a mammal, we needed worry and fear to survive all the real evolutionary threats around us. Arousal is a signal or noise. Our body reacts to the signal, wondering: does it need an emergency response? 

Arousal is useful. It is information. It is our interpretation of ambiguous stimuli that lead to the arousal and feeling of risk/danger. Like a smoke detector. Sometimes our smoke detector alerts us when we are just cooking bacon (and it is too sensitive to smoke) and other times it alerts us to a real fire!

The unpleasantness of anxiety is its nature. Unpleasantness and discomfort are necessary to get us out of an emergency situation. We need to move quickly and with precision. Discomfort motivates! We are hardwired to feel and experience anxiety as aversive and unpleasant. 

Can we appreciate anxiety as a mechanism of protection? And rather than shut it down or strive towards shutting it down, can we receive its message? Can we look at anxiety and judge whether there is an immediate threat or if we are worried about random stimuli? Can we try to understand that anxiety is a message from our body, rather than an unbearable intrusion?

Good questions to explore worry or anxiety:

What are you anxious or worried is going to happen?

Is there anything you are specifically worried about happening?

What is the worst that could happen or what is your worst-case scenario?

What do you imagine happening?

Making a worry list helps because you can problem-solve specific issues rather than just having a big ball of bad feelings that create a lot of anxiety. It’s one more way to hit the pause button on your automatic negative path. 

Problem-Solving Steps:

- Identify the problem and set realistic goals. Remember to ask yourself what you hope will be the consequences of your current behavior.

- Generate new solutions. Try to think of at least three. Don’t evaluate them until you have completed your list.

- Evaluate the different solutions and decide which one to try. Remember to look at both the short-term and the long-term benefits and drawbacks.

- Try one of the solutions: evaluate the consequences and decide whether the problem is solved or if you need to continue to problem-solve.

Pull back the layers and explore…

Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?

 My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change. 

*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

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Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!