Self-Judgement, Campervan Adventures and Hot Showers
If someone else’s judgment hurts, it’s probably because you’re judging yourself for the same thing. I learned this lesson over the summer (again) while on a campervan road trip. I’ve always admitted that I’m a city girl. Despite my love of nature and adventure, I sometimes face my limitations when it comes to roughing it. And I married a country boy. Niels grew up in the countryside and doesn’t NEED amenities the way I do. I don’t think of myself as a princess, but in our early days together, it often felt like we came from two different worlds.
For years, I swung between some kind of shame of not being rugged enough and resenting myself for wanting to be different than I am. I could never quite settle into one or the other. This summer’s road trip brought that internal dynamic to the surface again. I wished to be more easygoing, to not need a hot shower, let cold showers, and dips in rivers or lakes be enough for my cleanliness demands.
And I was—until I wasn’t. The moment I could no longer maintain that toughness, I felt disappointed in myself, which made me even more sensitive to Niels’s observations. I didn’t want to be the one who needed an Airbnb or a hot shower; I wanted to be as tough as everyone else. But I had my lesson: once I finally accepted what I wanted and needed, I felt relief. Whether it’s temporary or a constant, this is who I am now, and I’m tired of fighting it.
When we accept ourselves as we are, instead of feeling ashamed or wishing we were different, others’ judgments don’t sting so bad.
By recognizing and accepting ourselves as we are (in our current reality), we become less affected by others' opinions and more at ease with the situation.
Our neutrality toward our less desirable traits, and our willingness to accept them, makes us less sensitive to criticism and judgment.
Check out The Inner Critic for more tips to work on self-judgment.
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*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.
*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.
*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.
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