Steps to Take When Triggered

Are you feeling a little out of control? Like you don’t know how to calm yourself down? Here are a few tips for learning how to self-soothe when it feels like your thoughts or body have taken over. That out-of-control feeling is usually associated with the sympathetic nervous system.

It is when we run on an automatic emotional script. We are reacting with our survival instincts and learned assumptions and responses. We are projecting upon a situation rather than being present and seeing things for what they are. 

The nervous system is literally over-stimulated, ready for some threat. Even if the present situation doesn’t call for being on guard against danger! So until the past experiences have been processed emotionally, the nervous system will stay on alert. 

Activation can be felt like a state of tension and if this tension becomes chronic then you may be easily triggered by others. (Meaning: that your reactions are over the top or out of proportion to a given situation).

High levels of anxiety cause the human body to react by releasing stress hormones that result in physiological changes that include a pounding heart, quickening of breathing, tensing of muscles, and sweating. All of the body’s combined reactions to stress are known as the fight or flight response.

Knowing how to use the parasympathetic nervous system to manage your stress and anxiety can promote feeling more balanced and less reactive toward stimuli.

How To Work Through Being Triggered

The first step is to become aware of when you're emotionally triggered and allow the physical sensations to flow through your body (racing heart, sweating, feeling like you're going to cry, anxiety).

Notice what you are thinking/feeling: "I’m noticing I’m having the thought that…" Then put the thought on a shelf. We must first address the state causing the story. Check in with your internal landscape (sensations, images, feelings).

The next step is to learn to PAUSE. If we have unhealthy coping mechanisms we are reactive and impulsive when we feel powerful emotions. Learning to pause before reacting is key.

After pausing, it's time to get curious. "What about this is making me feel upset, defensive, reactive, or angry? "This is foundational in gaining self-awareness.

Lastly, it's time to self-soothe. This looks like validating what you're feeling (without shaming or judging yourself) and finding a healthy outlet to release your emotional energy

Begin a somatic regulating/relaxing exercise (See the list below). There are many techniques that a person can use to strengthen and activate their parasympathetic nervous system, causing a relaxation response in their body. The main idea is to slow down. Slow down your speech, activity, thoughts, and breath.

Somatic Regulation Activities:

Gently touch your lips. Your lips have parasympathetic fibers spread throughout them, so touching them activates the parasympathetic nervous system. Take one or two fingers and lightly run them over your lips.

Spend time in nature or go for a walk.

Laugh out loud. A full belly laugh stimulates the vagus nerve and is contagious!

Give yourself a massage (even gently massaging around the carotid sinus located on the sides of your neck can stimulate the vagus nerve).

Practice meditation: even 5 minutes helps.

Repeat a mantra.

Be Mindful: Zen Master Seung Sahn told his students, “When reading, only read. When eating, only eat. When thinking, only think.”

Use visualization and imagery to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system: use all of your senses as you visualize a calming place.

Focus on a word that is soothing.

Gargle: it activates the vagus nerve by activating the muscles in the back of the throat while exhaling slowly.

Play with animals or children.

Speak slowly, rhythmically, and melodically as if you’re soothing a young child or pet.  

Practice yoga, chi kung, or tai chi.

Humming, or making a “vooooooo” or “om” sound stimulates the vocal cords and facilitates long, slow, exhalation.

Exercise.

Progressive relaxation.

Slow, deep, and rhythmic breathing from the diaphragm.

Splashing cold water on your face, or taking a cold shower, stimulates the dive reflex, which is associated with stimulating the vagus nerve. You can also achieve the same effect by holding a ziplock bag filled with ice cubes against your face and holding your breath. Or submerge your tongue in cold liquid.

Connect with a safe person.

Questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling activated/reactive:

What story am I telling myself about what just happened?

Why is this familiar?

When else and with whom have I experienced this sensation before?

How was reactivity dealt with in my family system?

What boundary of mine got crossed?

Where do I feel this in my body?

What do I need to own or claim about my reactivity to move forward and learn from it?

Do I want to share this with someone?

Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?

 My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change. 

*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

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Learn more about my approach to life consulting, emotion & relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!