Rituals

Rituals are not about what you do but the meaning you give to the moments of your life. They don’t have to be tied to religion or spirituality. They can be subjective and personal. They’re sacred because you decide they are.

But what makes a ritual? Ministry innovation fellow at Harvard Divinity School, Casper Ter Kuile says there are three elements:

* Intention

* Attention

* Repetition

Sounds similar to habits. But habits are the opposite of rituals. Habits are an effort to make things less conscious, less intentional, and more automatic. With rituals, we want to increase intention. We want to pay more attention. We don’t want to do these things robotically. Habits are forgotten in internal time. Rituals are not chores on autopilot; they are miniature celebrations. We don’t engage less, we engage more. We make the moments a decision a conscious effort.

When building habits, you’re doing something new. But we want to take what you already do and ritualize it. To give your current moments of external time internal meaning.

Don’t be afraid to take little things a little more seriously. Allow them to be special. Give them your full attention. Savor them. A new perspective on any activity can transform it and it is new.

We all know that the most memorable periods of our lives are when we break the script. We remember the disasters and the triumphs. We remember the outrageous moments too.

But we can also remember every day that we are choosing this life, this partner, this lifestyle… Someone gave me the best advice when I got married… choose your partner every day. Don’t take it as a given. It is a choice: every single day. This became one of our most beautiful rituals. We tell each other each morning: “I choose you.” This is not “I’m stuck with you.” This is a conscious choice of how I want to live my life.

* Getting to work” rituals: Do something fun before you get started to get yourself in gear and you’ll reduce procrastination and perform better.

* Try a secular sabbath: Take a time-out from the world and break the script. Novelty expands time and makes memories.

* “Struggle” with friends: Board games and sports. Or work on something together. Ironically, giving time away makes you feel like you have more time.

* Mealtime rituals: Make dinner with loved ones special and memorable.

*Date night rituals: Make a choice to spend one on one time with your partner every week.

* Birthday rituals: What do you do that is special in your family. Something everyone can look forward to.

*Journaling: One of my favorite rituals is writing in my gratitude journal every morning. It grounds me, focuses me on what is most important, and makes me think about what I want every day.

Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?

 My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change. 

*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

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Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!