Perspectives Learned from Travel Disasters & Stoicism

How can I guarantee my happiness? Or at least control it? This is the age-old question… we try mindfulness, low expectations, working hard, being successful, making money, collecting things, big social lives, etc…

I am convinced that happiness can be found in a cross between stoicism, mindfulness, and deciding to live fully.

We all have unhappy and difficult moments. How we label them and choose to experience them is a choice. We can interpret our realities (I am not talking about kids being abused and other traumatic situations), but rather our everyday unhappiness and annoyances. We get to decide how to code the situations. We choose our language. We choose how we move with uncertainty.

Summer Travel 2022 is a nightmare. No question. Not an opinion. It is a reality based on the understaffing on the ground and in the air. There are too few people working to get all of the flights in the air on time and all the bags where they need to go. We felt this reality several times in our few weeks of travel. Our choice was NOT to be super annoyed and angry (I went through that in the first days) and it was futile.

Instead, we made friends with other passengers with lost bags, skipped the impossibly long immigration lines with some awfully nice Australians, and spent countless hours in a restaurant in the Warsaw airport with the nicest waiter around. We talked to people. We heard stories that were new and exciting. We fed a trapped pigeon in the airport. We were offered gummy bears from a couple from Lithuania. We had many moments. Each one is as valuable as the moments we would have had at our destination. We just had to change our idea of what was supposed to be.

We have to suspend judgment and expectations… (by the way) this also helps with your partner and your children. We become curious and surprised rather than judgmental and critical. We have the chance to take things for what they are instead of what they should have been.

Here is a short taste of Stoicism (which I think really relates):

There are many things in life, many circumstances, and many events that lay outside our control. We can’t always control the outcomes in our lives and how people behave.

We have become so attached to the outcomes that we are devastated when things come out differently. This is especially true when that negative outcome was outside our control. 

We are so convinced of our power that we often trick ourselves into thinking we could have done more or done something differently to have affected the outcome.

The ancient Stoics thought that this was preposterous. Stoics believed this was the root of most of our daily suffering. Instead, they believed we should recognize and focus on nothing but what’s within our legitimate control.

Stoic Questions to ask every day:

Is this in my control?

Is this essential/necessary?

What's the worst case? Am I prepared?

Where can I do better?

What habit bonfires am I fueling?

How can I make the best of this?

(When people irritate you) When have I acted like that?

Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?

 My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change. 

*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

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