Our Operating System
An operating system is a term we relate to: it is the modus operandi, it is Apple or Android… have you thought of the operating system in humans? It is our way of interpreting the world. It is our set of lenses we view with. It is our go-to habits, defenses, ways of thinking, and expectations. We can be rigid or accommodating. Our boundaries can also be rigid, porous, or somewhere in between. We can operate in a place of repetition or opposition from what we know (especially in relation to our family of origin).
Why is this important? (really?) Let’s not take anything for granted… when our behaviors happen by default, we can carry things along that don’t benefit or serve us. They are mechanisms that protected us in childhood but as adults, they just don’t serve us anymore. There are stories we have been told and continue to tell ourselves that can be challenged and rethought.
Noticing our operating system and going a little deeper into understanding it puts us in a better position to steer our lives consciously.
When we look at the reasons why we do the things we do (especially if there’s a lot of emotion locked into it), it’s important to go back and look at how this situation relates to our life and the prior meanings we attributed. The things we get reactive about are not just about that moment in time, right then and there. The reaction almost always points an arrow to something unresolved about your past if you're willing to look.
Some questions to start pondering:
What did you see your parents do? Are you repeating that? Are you doing the opposite? Are you correcting past failures? Are you able to be flexible in your responses? Rigid? Are you operating from a place of repetition or opposition?
We often replicate old stories in our life via distortion or copied behavior: now you get to decide if you are living a) what’s been modeled; b) a reaction/opposition to what has been modeled; or c) a thoughtful choice about how you want to live in the future.
Start the work by noticing the familiarity in the emotional experience you’re having. This can be a sign that something older is being triggered. Maybe there’s some repetition of an old story? Try to notice the texture, flavor, and familiarity of emotional experience subjectively.
The victory isn’t always the outcome. Sometimes the victory is just doing things or doing one thing differently this time in a very specific way.
Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?
My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change.
*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.
*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.
*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.
Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.
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Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!
