Expectations, Making Memories and Living in The Moment

I never think about “making memories.” I often hear people say, “You must be making amazing memories.” But I don’t really like thinking that way. I prefer to focus on living in the now. Memories are often distorted. They become points of comparison. Seeking memories is an oxymoron to me.... I’d rather seek the fun, joy, awe, and amazement of the present. I also look for intensity, new experiences, pushing boundaries and old concepts… but I’ve gotten ahead of myself.

This summer, we drove from Portugal to Germany in our campervan. We had made the reverse trip, from Germany to Portugal, two years ago. This time, we took a different route for most of the journey, as we love discovering places and having new experiences. But from day one, Skyler had one request: to return to a campsite on a river in Belgium that we visited the last time. We promised and adjusted our route to include that stop.

That campsite had been incredible. It sat on the edge of a river where you could go tubing, with a charming château serving classic Belgian pomme frites, and there were plenty of kids having fun. On the other side of the river, the mountainside had endless trails.

But when we arrived, what had been a vivid, 3D, color-filled experience the last time felt dull and almost black and white. It was drizzling, and swimming didn’t sound appealing. The campsite was muddy, so the grounds weren’t as much fun to play on. Even the pomme frites were less exciting.

Our kids had even wanted to skip a stay at a working goat farm to get to the river campsite faster. It’s interesting how we’re sometimes willing to forgo the present in favor of trying to re-create an old experience. We can’t project the past into the future. Our expectations will often disappoint if they’re compared to another moment in time. And we can’t create memories as a way to etch happiness into the books of our lives. We must experience what comes—the dirty, uncomfortable, and muddy truth. Moments can’t be tailored, and the more we try to tailor them, the harder it becomes to accept the mundane, day-to-day moments that get sprinkled in between.

In the end, it’s usually not “the main event” I expect that turns out to be the most fun. It’s the little mysteries and secret spots we stumble upon that we could never have planned.

So after the rainy campsite experience, I had the perfect talking point with the kids: “You see, a place can be amazing one time and nothing special the next. We won’t have duplicate experiences. We can’t control all of the factors involved. Isn’t it better for us to be open to what unfolds now than to try to copy what we did before? Can we let go of some expectations?”

Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?

 My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change. 

*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

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