The Phone Trap: How Dopamine Hijacks Us
It happened on our winter trip to Guatemala—a make-or-break time for any family with teenagers. Trips like these can go two ways: a teen can be totally anti-social, annoyed, and isolated, or they can lean into the adventure, engaged and present in unique activities. With Luca, I wasn’t sure which version of him we’d get. But then his phone broke, and the difference was clear…
Without the screen in his hands, his eyes lifted to the world around him. He wasn’t just present; he was curious. He engaged on many levels. He opened to me in a way I hadn’t felt in ages. He asked to play games, watch something together, or just talk. There’s a different energy when someone seeks your company rather than avoiding it or succumbing to the pressure (“If I must..”).
Seeing this change in him made me think deeply about how technology, and specifically phones, hijack our brains. Before phones, our bodies and brains evolved to work for dopamine. That’s how our reward system is designed: dopamine is released when we achieve something—a hunt, a creative endeavor, or a meaningful interaction. And because it takes effort, it feels good.
But dopamine is tricky. Our bodies are always working to maintain balance, or homeostasis. So when dopamine floods in too easily or too often—like it does when scrolling on a phone or playing video games—the brain adjusts. It reduces the number of dopamine receptors or their sensitivity, making it harder to feel pleasure from ordinary, everyday things. This is why the “quick fix” or “easy win” of technology is so dangerous. It gives an illusion of satisfaction without requiring the harder, more complicated route our brains were designed to take.
For teenagers, whose brains are still developing, this is even more pronounced. Their dopamine systems are extra sensitive, which is why they’re naturally drawn to risk-taking and rewards. Add a phone into the mix, and it’s a perfect storm. The endless supply of entertainment, validation, and stimulation makes it easy to bypass real-world effort. Over time, curiosity dims, and the drive to seek out meaningful experiences wanes.
That trip to Guatemala could have gone differently. If Luca’s phone hadn’t broken, he might have spent the weeks disengaged, chasing the quick hits of dopamine his device could provide. Instead, he found joy in the harder, richer work of being present, exploring, and connecting. And the reward wasn’t just his—it was ours, too.
This experience didn’t just remind me how satisfying life can be when curiosity takes the lead—it hammered home how easy it is to let the world slip away when we let the dopamine shortcuts win.
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