Stoicism for Everyday
I don’t love every bit of the stoic ideology, as I think they miss on the need to move through emotions to emerge on the other side and the evolutionary purpose of emotions. But Stoic ideology has gotten a lot of things right!
At the root of Stoic thinking is the central idea that there are many things, circumstances, and events that lay outside our control. We often can’t control the outcomes in our lives, or how other people behave or feel. (Don’t be tricked by cognitive distortions or personalizing other people’s behaviors).
We have become so attached to outcomes that we face constant disappointment when life unfolds differently. There is a failure and an unmet expectation. This is especially true when that negative consequence is outside of our control. We often convince ourselves into believing we could have done more or something different to have affected the outcome. We imagine ourselves as more influential in what has unfolded and try to create meaning/sense of our lack of control…
The ancient Stoics believed this was the root of most of our daily suffering. Instead, they believed that humans should recognize and focus on nothing but what’s within our legitimate control. Excellence isn’t this thing you do one time. It’s a way of living. It’s foundational.
Seven Stoic questions to ask yourself each day:
Is this in my control?
Is this essential/necessary?
What is the worst-case scenario?
Where can I do better?
What habits am I fueling? (“Every habit and capability is confirmed and grows in its corresponding actions, walking by walking, and running by running . . . therefore, if you want to do something make a habit of it, if you don’t want to do that, don’t, but make a habit of something else instead. The same principle is at work in our state of mind. When you get angry, you’ve not only experienced that evil, but you’ve also reinforced a bad habit, adding fuel to the fire.”-EPICTETUS) There is nothing more powerful than a good habit. Nothing that holds us back like a bad habit. We are what we do. What we do, determines who we can be.
How can I make the best of this?
(When people irritate you) When have I acted like that too?
Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?
My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change.
*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.
*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.
*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.
Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.
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Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!
