What if We Responded to Our Partners' Complaints Like Customer Service Agents?
Customer Satisfaction
The backbone of the customer service industry is that "the customer is always right." In this context, everything is done to ensure the customer walks away satisfied and feeling heard. Often, the customer service agent is unable to solve the problem, but they make the customer feel heard, respected, and listened to.
First, I will introduce you to what a great customer service person's response is to complaints, and then I will explain why this is so helpful for all of us to learn.
How to Deal with an Angry Customer:
Remain calm.
Practice active listening.
Repeat back what your customers say.
Thank them for bringing the issue to your attention.
Explain the steps you'll take to solve the problem.
Set a time to follow up with them, if needed.
Be sincere.
Highlight the case's priority.
Here are the skills the best customer service people employ with their nastiest customers. They avoid the fight-or-flight response and taking things personally:
*Reflective listening requires understanding what the other person is saying by interpreting their words and body language. Once you've analyzed the situation, respond by reflecting the thoughts and feelings you heard back to your custome.
If you've adequately understood their sentiment, move on. If not, say, "Tell me more, so I can better understand." Never promise you'll fix the situation—because you might not be able to. Your goal at this moment is to make your customer feel heard and valued.
*Ask questions to understand the root cause of their concern. The following questions can help your customer relax and yield insights into why they're unwilling to move forward:
"I'd like to understand. Tell me more about why you're skeptical."
"What can I do to relieve your fears?"
"How can I help you feel comfortable enough to move forward?"
These questions also redirect their mind from thinking you're untrustworthy to proactively considering what they need to move forward.
*The beginner's mind, also known as the zen mind, is the strategy of approaching every situation as if you were a beginner. When you adopt this way of thinking, you enter every conversation with the "don't know" mind, which keeps you from prejudging a customer or their situation.
It also encourages you to live without "shoulds." "Shoulds" put your mind on the defensive and jeopardize the productivity of the conversation before it even begins. With the zen mind, you let go of being an expert. Sure, you're an expert in you, but you're not an expert in this person, their situation, or the conversation you're currently engaging in.
*Let go of fear: Fear of a negative outcome drives many of our reactions. Commonly, fear makes us want to control things. If a person is being difficult, there is a fear of challenging them and damaging the relationship. If a customer expresses displeasure with your timeline or pricing structure, the fear is we might not be able to fix the situation.
First, let go of the idea that you need to fix anything. When sitting down with a difficult person, your job is to listen, understand, and discern the next steps; not immediately produce a solution.
*"Chunk" the problem: Chunking is the process of taking one big problem and breaking it into several smaller, more manageable portions. These small portions are easier for us to tackle, and make us more willing to begin dealing with the issue at hand.
*Keep calm and carry on: Conflict is a part of life, and how you react under fire impacts the future of your relationships. You have far more to lose by taking the low road and stooping to the other's level of hostility. Treating someone with disdain or disrespect can reflect negatively on you and your dignity
Remember, people will often mirror the emotional signals you emit. If you respond with hostility and anger, don't expect friendliness and understanding in return.
But My Relationship Has Nothing to do With Business:
You are right! But when we react to our partners' complaints, we often increase the distance and misunderstanding between us. Remember, the customer service agent never promises actions they cannot deliver. They listen and are proactive in searching for solutions. The customer service agent receives the commentary.
In a healthy relationship both partners have the chance to be the customer and the customer service agent. This gentle reminder: “am I behaving like a good customer service agent” has helped me countless times in moments of conflict when I am flying into a triggered state… I call myself in. Just listen.
According to Terry Real, a master in the art of relationship repairs: “When your partner is in a state of disrepair, it’s a one-way street. Everybody gets this wrong. It’s not supposed to be, “Well, these are your issues, here are mine.” When your partner is in disrepair, it’s like you are working at the customer-service window. Your partner says, “I want a new microwave.” They don’t want to hear that your toaster doesn’t work. They want you to fix their microwave. Later on, we can hear about your issue, but not then. The question of who’s right and who’s wrong is irrelevant. What matters is how we, as a team, are going to make this work for both of us. That’s thinking relationally.” (Quote from: The New York Times )
Forbes Article: 7 Steps for Dealing With Angry Customers
Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?
My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change.
*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.
*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.
*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.
Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.
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