What Are Individual Sessions With Me All About?

I strive to be a tool for translation, for reconnecting the pieces to see things differently and with more clarity…

I help my clients find the voice they couldn’t access in childhood.

The point isn’t to talk to and find a resolution with each character in your story, but to be able to observe your needs, and your feelings within yourself, hold them up as valid and normalize them. And then to feel capable and strong enough to give yourself the thing you needed most and was withheld from you as a child. 

You learn to witness your child-self as an adult. And begin to impact upon the coping strategies of your old wounds. You will change your old stories and viewpoints that may have created safety for you as a child, but now hold you stuck in old patterns. 

To be fully alive is to access our core vulnerabilities. We then can access a sense of who we are. We get to be in ongoing transformation as we develop and grow in the world. As we notice our patterns, we begin to change them. We gain access to a sense of security.  This security tells us that we matter in the world and makes vulnerability easier.

Sometimes something happens that blocks our ability to access our herd (our loved ones) and sometimes the herd isn’t lost, but we are unable to receive their love. Sometimes we can’t get a coherent sense of ourselves enough to connect with others…

As we gain clarity, transparency adds to our sense of agency, capacity, and power: with that, we can restructure the self and our idea of the world  (the system we live in). Clarity also widens our tolerance for discomfort, not everything is a threat!

This is what working with me is all about. We prepare the soil for it to be planted. We pull out the weeds (old negative beliefs, thoughts, patterns, and coping mechanisms). And add lots of compost, worms, and natural fertilizers (compassion, boundaries, healthy coping strategies, clarity, optimism, vulnerability, and self-love). We work together to see what parts of the garden are beautifully wild and don’t need work (what are your strengths?) Are there flower bulbs under the surface (are there resources you don’t see and take advantage of)?

I facilitate your self-awareness and create a safe space in which you can work on a deeper level with yourself. I do this in many ways:

* I ask questions designed to deepen your process and ability to explore your own experience.

* I point out “blind” spots; the hidden “ghosts” which you cannot clearly see.

* I contribute my wisdom, insight, and understanding of human behavior.

* I watch for patterns of behavior, helping you see how apparently different things may be connected

* I listen for coping styles that come with hidden costs and explore alternatives.

* I observe your body language, tone, and eye contact. This gives me additional clues about your unconscious and your feelings.

* I listen for the content of what you’re saying, and for the underlying, symbolic meaning of the issues/events to you. I listen for your strengths and resiliencies and assist you to build on them.

* Using various lenses (psychological, spiritual, developmental, and physical) I interpret what you’re saying and reflect back on what I’m hearing.

* I gently and respectfully confront beliefs, values, behavior, or thought processes that may be holding your progress back. I nurture those who support you in growth.

* I point out discrepancies in what you say and what you do so that you’re able to begin acting in ways that are congruent with your stated beliefs and values.

* I offer alternative explanations/theories to help you gain more perspective.

*I provide relevant information

* Knowledge is power; the power to make choices and changes. I provide you with a wealth of theories of human development and support you while you learn what fits you.

* I observe your needs for support and supply reading materials and suggest books, or digital materials.

*I strive to build and maintain a therapeutic alliance

* I provide a safe and caring emotional environment, giving you unconditional positive regard no matter what you reveal, and responding with compassion rather than judgment. This allows you to begin building self-compassion; an essential ingredient in health.

* As appropriate, I temporarily enact the role of the parent/guardian/guide you may not have had in order to provide you with a “corrective emotional experience”, or an opportunity to connect, bond and attach in a safe and healthy way, thus healing old wounds and allowing you to build confidence in your interpersonal abilities.

* Your patterns will likely be enacted in therapy. I witness and make these patterns visible while remaining caring and supportive—I do not abandon you, but rather set limits.

* I model good boundaries, assertive communication, respect, appreciation, and compassion.

* I coach you in experiential exercises

*As appropriate and relevant, I propose various skill-building, knowledge-enhancement, and body-awareness exercises designed to aid your learning process. This may take the form of visualizations, role plays, behavioral rehearsal, enactments, writing or art exercises, or monitoring your body’s messages.

Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?

 My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change. 

*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

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Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!