Nuanced Living: “Both And,” a New Way to Live
As I reflect on my experiences of having high expectations and of course facing deep disappointments, I find myself wanting to understand my needs and desires without passing judgment on myself. I strive to avoid dismissing my own needs and wants or believing that someone else's ideas are better. I’m searching for the way to live in the world that doesn’t insist on better or worse. This means that everything isn’t a value judgment. Everything isn’t ordered and hierarchical
What I strive for is the flexibility to see both.
This “both and” mindset allows for nuanced living and enables us to appreciate that two contrasting realities can exist simultaneously without one being right and the other wrong. It provides a relational model where two distinct and opposing realities can coexist as valid at the same time.
This is perspective. This is a way of living that allows for people to have diverse opinions and attempts at understanding one another are possible without invalidating one person's perspective in favor of another.
"Both and" means that everyone's viewpoint can be valid simultaneously. It means I don't have to sacrifice my own feelings in order to coexist with yours.
Living with subtlety and nuance is the essence of "Both And."
"Both And" is the opposite of black-and-white thinking, as it doesn't negate or deny any reality.
“Both And” means that everybody can be right at the same time. “Both And” means that I don’t have to give up how I feel to live with how you feel.
Here are some prompts for Nuanced Living:
Are these two perspectives in opposition with each other?
Why am I comparing? Is there a need to compare? Is there some benefit from judging better and worse?
What does my understanding rely on? Are there any other perspectives that can help me understand better?
Am I being curious? Where does curiosity take me? Is my curiosity prioritized?
Do I make judgements from my head, heart or gut? What is the difference between each of these information gatherers?
Can I take a new more inclusive stance? What do I lose by doing this?
Photo by: Kass Mencher
Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?
My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change.
*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.
*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.
*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.
Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.
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