Crisis as a Window of Opportunity

During the worst darkness, there may be a glimmer of light. We probably can’t see it. We are enveloped in pain. We are in emergency survival mode. We feel as though we can’t make it past this very moment. It is vivid.

Over the last few years, I have seen several people close to me and clients endure unimaginable horrors. And others who have experienced break-ups, divorce, and estrangements. In some of these terrible and difficult situations, something blooms. I know this sounds cheesy (or as my teenager says “cringe!”) But I still have to be cringe and say it… 

A crisis can act like a window of opportunity; shattering the old systems so profoundly that there is an option for change that would never have been possible otherwise. When a system of relationships or patterns is lost due to death, divorce, or other significant events, it cannot function as it did before. It must re-route, just like a bus on its regular route that hits construction. There is no choice but to go another way. 

If we can take a breath in our emergency, there is an unbelievable opportunity to create significant change. By reflecting on old patterns, we can actively choose what we want to change or continue. It is an interesting moment. It is a moment of choice, and instead of avoiding pain, we can use it as a point of reflection. Pain creates pressure for change and loss creates chaos in a closed system. If we can find the space to be present in the moment, we have the opportunity to make choices.

If the system was dysfunctional, the missing piece creates space for repair. The disconnect from the old norm creates unfinished or irregular interactions and relationship patterns, leaving space for choice. When something isn't working, it's easy to get stuck in old patterns and habits. 

Crises shake things up and give us latitude. We can identify the missing pieces and work towards rebuilding, to create a healthier and more functional system. There will be pain and change regardless, but the wide-opened feeling of loss creates the chance for rebuilding. 

It's all about perspective. One way to approach a crisis is to see it as a time for reflection. In the face of loss, whether it’s death or the end of a relationship, we can take a step back and evaluate our lives. We can ask ourselves what's truly important, and what we want to change or continue.

This process of reflection can lead us to make new choices and create new patterns in our lives. It's a chance to start fresh and move forward with intention. We can also ask ourselves new questions, diving deeper into what we want and need in our lives.

A friend of mine just got a divorce from her husband. As she navigates being single again, she is taking her time, studying herself, noticing her patterns, intuition, likes, and dislikes.  Her time with her daughter is now conscious and involves choice, rather than the old routines of family life.

Another friend lost his wife and the family dynamic completely shifted with a gaping hole in the middle. It meant everyone had to shift. The kids took on new roles, the mother’s depression had been a shadow on the family, and the loss, as painful as it was, opened new opportunities for the family to function. The father was forced to become more social, actively looking for community, connection and activities for the kids. The kids had been socially awkward when the family was intact, but after the death, both of them were more flexible and socially integrated.

In a crisis, we have the opportunity to create a new direction and make expansive choices, even when it seems like the most terrible moment.

Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?

 My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change. 

*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

__

Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!